Blasted Computer

In memory 1999-2005
Hal 2000 Computarical Device.
May you rust in pieces...

I don't like destroying things. I fancy myself a creator. When I have to take a life, I do it quick and humanely. One shot, never more.
When I first met Hal, I was so enthralled. We surfed the WEB together and bonded like brothers. The absolute JOY of a FELLOW COMPANION pushed my exhuberance beyond delight. Often we would lay awake at night, purchasing Model Trains off Ebay, Checking in on Drudge, exploring the Space Geek sites, and eventually finding lodging near Scrappledom.
Then one day, all seemed different. Hal wouldn't answer me so fast. My son thought Hal was enthused by the Gaming sites he was visiting and was "bored" with the "old fashioned life style". Maybe Hal was going liberal, thought I.
Memories flooded back, I vowed to save Hal from taking the wrong path.
This was my freind and I was going to save him. I got my Computer Geekological Doctorate in 1992. I am a doctor, I will save my freind.
Herbal Medicine seemed to be the key. Delete a little here, Defrag a little there.
Patient stabalized.
Pager goes off in the middle of the night. Oh my Gawd! RELAPSE!!
A series of POX show up. Popping up all over the head of HAL.
Back to the hospital. This time life engaging questions arise. I have a lifetime of MEMORY saved in HAL. Pictures from his youth. Pictures of Carbon Based HAL slaves.
Then Dementia set in.
HAL didn't,wouldn't recognize me. I would have to reset him at least three times to get him to wake up.
The bleary,clouded look in his eye was disheartening. My freind was dying.
I thought maybe a radical brain transplant. A new memory to enjoy and the same perfect body. As the transplant was occuring, however the donor and recipient got freindly. They liked each other TOO MUCH. Being the same make, model, and vintage, I could only conclude the worst. MY Computer was a Retarded Homosexual.
Lost in this lonely world, what is a hetero oxygen converter to do?
Maybe
Hmmmm
Break my computer vows?????
When I announced I have had an affair at the computer store and brought home the concubine, HAL lost it.
Spam everywhere. Pop ups zinging past my arse. Spyware stealing the serial numbers of my Model Locomotives.
I barely escaped with my Cable Modem.
I had enough. I'm taking this bastard out.
Quietly, I stalked HAL.
Then the wirrrrr of a broken heartdrive.....
The stench of a overloaded power supply.....
BANG
Tears fell across my windlashed face as I cradled my dying freind.
Memory chips dripping from his exposed carcass.
The last sparks of life fading...
I will never forget you HAL.
I wish you had not forsaken me.......

One 12 gauge slug, clean kill.
Through the power supply and wedged in the PC board.
Obviously not a mag load, it was may freind. I wanted an open casket.
30 yard shot.
Dropped like a stone.