10 Ways to avoid Bird Flu

With all the disasters, cataclysms,and human suffering the last thing we need is an airborne assault by fowl. Although this is a very VERY serious issue, Libby has taken it upon himself to give a little insight to the new plague.
"EU Health Commissioner Markos Kyprianou has warned that the EU should be ready for a potential human flu pandemic.

The H5N1 strain has killed more than 60 people in South East Asia since 2003. However, of those only one is suspected to have died after catching the virus from another human"
Ten ways to avoid the Bird Flu:

1) Ask your bird to cover its beak when coughing or sneezing.

2) If your bird has a high temperature, don't send it to school. This will only spread the illness to other birds.

3) Aspirin should not be given to young birds for fever. This could cause them to develop Reyes Syndrome.

4) Have your bird wash it's talons after using public restrooms.

5) Feed a fever, starve a bird.

6) If your Thanksgiving Turkey is in it's coop with a thermometer in it's beak and a cold compress on it's head, have Ham.

7) A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but if your bird has the flu it's BUSHS FAULT!

8) Be monogamous with your bird, contrary to current philosophy, prophylactics don't afford protection. They suffocate the bird.

9) Luckily the food chain prevents the spread of this disease. I.E.: Cats eat birds, but people don't eat cats, except in Asia (OH SHIT I'M ON TO SOMETHING HERE!!!!!)

10) If your bird is acting a little fishy and may be infected, do the humane thing and flush it down the toilet.